That’s right, privilege! You are so wonderful that it is a privilege to be your friend. It is also a privilege to have you as a family member, colleague or employee.
Unfortunately, many people treat each other as though it was a right to be in another person’s life. The world is teeming with infected relationships where people step on each other and look at themselves as if it is their legitimate right to be colleague, friend, parent, sibling or life partner to someone else.
The greatest gift that I have ever been given by my sons is that they continually choose me. They WANT me in their lives. This is nothing that I have ever seen as my right. Clearly, I was a good enough dad when they were growing up that they want to have me in their close network as adults. The day I stop giving positive nutrition to these close relationships, I cannot take for granted that they will still be there. Of course, we carry each other when life is tough, but this is also a way to develop the relationship and make it stronger.
One of the most transformative processes that I see in people is when they do a relationship inventory. When a person asks just this question that I started out with: “Who gets the privilege of being in my life?” This is a process that is incredibly strengthening for our self-esteem. Some realize that they need to find new relationships because their network is too weak. Others start to work on improving their relationships. In some cases, it even happens that a person decides to let go of an infected relationship that they don’t want and which can be harmful for them. This could mean changing careers if relationships at work are toxic and beyond redemption.
I’ve seen so many beautiful life stories develop as a result of individuals internalizing precisely that word PRIVILEGE and then acting based on that.
Is there anything more beautiful than seeing self-esteem grow in a person? I think it is one of life’s great gifts. Our quality of life gets a real boost when we do an inventory of who is actually in our lives!
It’s an exciting journey. Sometimes painful, but enriching and life-affirming.
When did you last do an inventory of who you give the privilege to be in your life?
Have a brilliant day!